Monday, May 26, 2008

Reasons Why I Like Me

Today is Memorial Day. It meant 3 social events for me. Yesterday I was brave enough to get on the scale again after about a month's break. I knew my weight was creeping up again, but I was really disappointed with myself when I discovered how far the regression really was. But of course, I could feel it in my clothes and in my body in general. For example, a particular fat roll around my middle had disappeared or at least shrunk, but of course, now it's back. Two of the 3 events planned for today involved trying to look cute in these now-too-tight clothes and 1 involved a swimsuit.

Getting in a swimsuit was just too much for me to even think about on the day after I realized I just gained back most of what I previously lost. I laid in bed for 45 minutes thinking about how I didn't like myself and I just didn't want to go through the day being me at this moment.

Sad, sad, sad!!!!!!!!!

But it's the honest truth. I share it partially to get some blog-therapy and partially because I know I'm not the only one. I'm SICK of hearing all the negative self-talk going on in my brain!!!! It just never ceases! I really like the focus of some fat acceptance blogs which say the goal is size acceptance with a healthy dose of knowing you can change for the better if you want to. And it's why I'm now starting a motivational post that I will keep adding to, in addition to Reasons I Want To Lose Weight, I'm now starting

Reasons Why I Like Me
(that have nothing to do with size!!!!!!!!!!!)
(please read this knowing I'm a girl with a self-acceptance problem not a girl with a bragging problem!)

  1. I have fantastically beautiful kids
  2. I have the unconditional love of my siblings, mom & husband.
  3. I am creative, intelligent and ambitious.
  4. I have gained wisdom from experience, common sense and a good moral compass.
  5. I have a cool heritage that I'm proud of. The toughness & grit of Mormon pioneers on my mom's side and refined European sophistication from my Dad's side (he was born in Sweden.)
  6. I've worked hard to make good choices in my life like giving to and volunteering in my church, making sure I studied & followed Christian principles, being as honest as I can, etc. Am I perfect? No. But being able to say I'm still striving for these things and having stayed largely out of trouble is a pat on my own back I'm willing to give.)
  7. Another reason I'm glad I'm me- I have great memories of traveling a lot growing up. I've been to almost every European country. We lived in Germany & Belgium with my dad in the military & my parents loved to travel & dragged us everywhere. It really shaped who I am today.
  8. I like about myself the way I've changed in the past few years to find a balance between trying to be superwoman and retreating to hermit-hood. I gained a sort of new shade of confidence that involves knowing who I am a little more and being a more self-assured decision-maker.
  9. I'm glad I have an aesthetic eye and I do a good job with clothes, make-up & accessories.
  10. I smile at people when I talk to them. I'm glad I enjoy making people feel like I like them & am interested in them.
  11. I have awesome sexy hair. It's shiny, long, and I can style it in fun ways. I get tons of compliments on it. Instead of discounting the compliments in my mind, I'm now saying, "You know what? I DO have awesome hair. THANKS!!!!!" :)


Fatinah said...

thanks for sharing that part of yourself with us!

G.G. said...

I can relate to this--but stating those 10 reasons is a good way to take some positive action to counteract the negative stuff. Or at least I'm hoping that sort of thing works for me, eventually!

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