Sunday, May 25, 2008

For G.G.

G.G., thank you for your comment wondering if I was doing ok & hanging in there!!

It's because of this type of kindness & concern from people in the blogging world who I've never met that I don't give up hope entirely in losing weight. Because actually, the weight loss news is not good at all!! You remember those 12 pounds that came off in the fall? Well, they came back on in the spring. Dang it!!!!!!!!!!! You know, I've been craving salt lately, which is unusual for me. Could it be that the weight gain is just 10 pounds of water retention???

Nah!! Probably wishful thinking because, I've also been craving a lot of candy bars & cookies & basically whatever I could get my hands on. It's nervous-emotional-anxiety-eating. And the other part of the problem is that I can't get myself to believe that actually doing something about the problem (decreasing my portions, paying attention to how many calories or points and saying no to desserts) doesn't amount to a bunch of self-punishment and starvation. Has that ever happened to you when you know the truth and reality with the logical part of your brain, but you just can't see it that way?

I also have to share that today, I was asked to teach the Sunday School class for the 12-17 year old girls. The topic was on appreciating your heritage & passing on a rich heritage to your future children. One of the quotes came from an address from one leader in my church, Jeffry R. Holland, that said, "Be a woman of Christ. Cherish your esteemed place in the sight of God. He needs you. The Church needs you. The world needs you." It turns out that a larger topic in the address was on body image. Some passages were so touching to me, that I'd like to share some of them with you. The text in its entirety can be found here.

"[We] have no motive except to bless your life and to spare you every possible heartache we can spare you... I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else...Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because... you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. and if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won't be very surprised when your daughter... does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be... That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size...
"In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness women, including young women, face in the modern world."
When I was preparing to give this lesson last night, I was tearing up because the message was one I still had to learn. How do we learn this? I think some of the weight would probably leave me without much struggle if I could learn how to accept myself, strive for optimum health and not fixate on my mistakes or physical flaws. How do I see myself and love myself like my mom loves me, like my husband loves me, like God loves me?

It's a goal. Something worth striving for every day. But it sure does help when there really are the people that love you & are rooting for you.

G.G., you don't even know me! I know you didn't intend your comment to be much more than a casual "hey, where'd you go?" But it really made my day. I'm sending some good vibes & karma back at ya.

P.S. If you ever want to know if I'm alive or not, feel free to visit my other blogs: Something Beautiful or Humorous and Eli & Mia's Virtual Scrapbook. Life goes on in those blogs, even when I'm not losing weight. *wink* :)


G.G. said...

Thank you right back. I'm so glad my comment made you better. It doesn't necessarily take much to get us out of the dumps--I'm glad I helped you some.

"Has that ever happened to you when you know the truth and reality with the logical part of your brain, but you just can't see it that way?"--Oh, all time, all the time.

Your church sounds like a very positive place--what your leader said is so, so true, but I think it's something a lot of religious leaders don't spend much time thinking about.