Friday, July 27, 2007

I have to share how I felt yesterday after I came out of my Taeboboxing class. I FELT AWESOME! It has not been such a successful weight loss week. I got on the scale yesterday & today and it said 206.2. So utterly sad. MUCH higher than it was a month ago. So I felt kind of mortified about it.

Last night I went to this class, as I mentioned, and I did get a good work out. But I was protecting my knee like crazy. Those classes really do involve a heck of a lot of side shuffling & turning jumping. We started boxing, upper cut, hook, jab, jab, jab, jab and we didn't have one single break from it for 55 minutes. I thought my back was going to die, but actually today it's not that bad! Yay!

At the end of the class, a sweet woman came up to me. She was probably around 60 years old (? hard to tell), but she had one of those super muscular bodies & younger looking hairstyles. But she was the sweetest lady in the world because she said, "You know, I could see you out of the corner of my eye, and you were really working hard. I wanted to say 'keep it up! way to go,' but you never know how people will take things." She wasn't gushy or anything. She was just mentioning it in the quietest way, but it affected me because I knew what she said was true. I felt like a million bucks when she said this to me. I was like beaming walking out to my car.

I was proud of myself for 1) going to the class at all! 2) that I was true to myself and didn't do the high impact that would have hurt my knee. 3) She's right! I did work hard. I didn't slop through the sit ups, but I paid attention to form and I did them all, even though I was tired.

Yay me. I do have to pay attention to what the scale is saying (pull back on the sweets), but yesterday I celebrated that non-scale victory. I allowed myself to be proud and joyful about that little accomplishment without holding back. And yay for people who encourage others & voice their admiration. Thank you to that sweetest woman for pointing out to me something about myself to applaud. ALSO-- after I go to the gym tonight, it will be the 2nd week in a row of accomplishing 1 hour of cardio per day for 5 days each week! Even though the scale really doesn't show it, that has to be good for me, right?!?!!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

This is a photo of my sweet little 4 year old at the pool a couple of weeks ago. He's been taking swimming lessons, and although I'm sure he'll eventually get the hang of it, swimming doesn't come naturally to him. It took all the courage he had last session to put his mouth in the water & blow bubbles. He also learned to kick his legs while holding on to the side of the pool. But then they asked him to do both at the same time!! Well, he'd stop kicking, then blow bubbles, then stop blowing bubbles and kick a little bit. For some reason, the two activities were just too hard or newly learned to do at the same time.

This is exactly like me and eating wisely at the same time as exercising well! Last week I got back on track and exercised again 5 times (just boring old elliptical, but making it more fun by listening to tons of podcasts-- btw, does anyone know any good ones about fitness or weight loss?). Yay, me! But my choices for eating were not at all smart. So I've just stayed about the same weight & not made any progress.

But I can't tell you how happy I am to be exercising again. It helped my depression a lot last week. I felt like a normal person! Hallellujah! I had a tough month during June, just being sick the whole month. Then I had about a week and a half break, long enough to celebrate the 4th of July, then I got Strep throat! So I'm hoping I can stay healthy for a long stretch now so I can get used to exercising as part of my every day routine... enough that it feels like 2nd nature & I will be able to also do healthier eating at the same time!

I have decided to participate in some team challenges (see sidebar) so I think that will help get everything in place. I'm a little behind on some of the challenge info. So forgive me if you're on my challenge team (The Skinny Minnies). I'm getting up to speed this week! I'm having this positive visualization of myself succeeding next week:
Stranger at the sample table at the grocery store: "Would you like some chocolate cake?"
Me: "No, I'm on Team Skinny Minnie & I can't let them down."

Funny. Have a good week!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Shaq's Big Challenge & What I'm Ticked About

Did any of you watch it the past couple weeks? This past episode had some things that just bugged me. So I think it's really great that Shaq has a reality show about taking a stab at the huge problem of childhood obesity. It's great. I love the idea (although, the show really touts it as his own idea & project... yeah right... not the idea of some ABC reality show producer... but whatever.)

He has 6 kids that basically come from the projects of Miami, that have agreed to participate in his program and try to lose a bunch of weight. These kids are in their preteens & teens & each weigh well over 200 lbs. So he visits them all, gets them checked out by a doctor, then sends them a nutritionist, then rents them a gym and asks them to exercise 5 days a week on their own. So that totally fails. (Duh! But why did they structure it that way? Why make the point that people can't do it on their own? How depressing & unoptimistic.) So in Tuesday's episode, he finally gets them a trainer. And it is the stereotypical military type drill sergeant guy who yells and yells. Well, one of the "girls" (pictured above), "Kit," starts hyperventilating and clutching at her heart and quits after 2 minutes of exercising with this guy. They wheel her off in an ambulance. Later they diagnose her as having an anxiety attack. Her parents pull her out of the program for good.

So this is what I have a problem with. The show at first made me feel kind of impatient with Kit & her parents. "What is wrong with you? Why can't you just exercise? Get up off your butt and try!" And to her parents: "How could anyone be so ignorant? You coddled her all the way up to 263 pounds, and she's only 14! When are you going to wake up?" But when I started thinking about it, I really don't think they (meaning the trainers, producers, etc. on the show) had Kit's best interest at heart. If they really cared about helping her, as an individual, why wouldn't they provide more individualized training, rather than making all 6 kids, no matter what their gender or exercise preference do these military-like drills, such as crawling up and down the gym, jumping jacks, who even knows what they were doing. They were just being yelled at. I think the approach was a HUGE MISTAKE on the part of the producers & planners of the show.

Flash back to my own preteen and teenage days... That was the whole reason I stayed out of sports: I was scared to death of drill-sergeant-like coaches yelling at me. Luckily, I had the option of dance because my parents could afford it. That's probably the only reason I didn't become obese in my teens. But what option do these kids have? Especially with the other problem the show points out: non-mandatory P.E. in public schools. But I digress.

My main point is this: where is the psychological help??????? Celebrity Fit Club (possibly the worst reality show I've ever seen) had one good thing about it. The perfect trio of experts: a trainer, a nutritionist, and a psychologist. I think the psychological element is more than KEY in changing your lifestyle for good. Nutritionists & trainers are almost useless without overcoming the distorted thinking and mental blocks. The field of psychology could really help out here! More than having a beef with Shaq's show, I have a beef with the whole psychiatric field. I feel totally abandoned by them in my struggles to lose weight. Our nation is going through a huge epidemic health crisis, and I'm so glad for all the awareness and research and discussion in the medical community. But the psychiatric community has just been shamefully absent in this whole discussion. Where is the PSYCHOLOGICAL research on how to help people lose weight? Where is the awareness campaign on getting psychological help? Where are these people??? Where were they on Shaq's show when someone was carted off in an ambulance because of psychological trauma?

I currently go to a therapist because of depression. Once in a while I bring up the fact that I have a lot of anxiety about getting out there & exercising. Also, why can't I stop the emotional eating? I intellectually know that it will kill me, but I can't stop. And in a nutshell, what I'm told is, "Oh, just get over it. Exercise & healthy eating are good for you." Ok! Thank you! That's just brilliant. They would never think of telling me that type of thing when I complain of depression: "Why don't you just stop feeling that way? Can't you just buck up, lil' camper?" Someone who said that to you in therapy would get their license taken away!

There is a lot of awareness about the reverse problems, anorexia and bulemia, but binge eating and the related exercise-anxiety that SO MANY OF US HAVE are ignored like the unloved stepchild. I guess that's the way it's been for a long time. The skinny kids get all the breaks.