Saturday, June 2, 2007

Is There An "Adult" In The House?

I think this will be another post where I psycho-analyze myself to a degree to try to find out why I keep failing at sticking to a weight loss plan. Sigh. So you might want to go to your next blog and skip this one if you are searching for some success stories to motivate you.

The psychoanalysis part:
I was told by a psychologist that everyone has 3 aspects to their personality or decision-making mechanism. A child, a parent, and an "adult". And that sometimes when people are depressed or have other psychological problems, one of the 3 is missing, and the most healthy person is the one where the 3 are most balanced. However, each one has their pro's and cons. So for me: I definitely have the parent. I can be nurturing, but I can also yell & chastise (myself more than anyone). The child is there sometimes allowing me to have some fun, but the bad part is what I'm doing now: saying "Screw it all!!! I'm eating 2 helpings of this ice cream & I don't care!!" But the "adult," which is the voice of reason is kinda missing in my equation.

The weight loss/gain discussion part:
I was doing SO WELL for about 3 days on SparkPeople, then on a really stressful day, I decided to eat the unhealthy kid food that my kids were begging for in the grocery store. We ate hotdogs & soft white buns for lunch. I had 3! Argh. And I just let it kinda go downhill from there. Italian food, ice cream, cookies, trail mix, skipping a few days of exercise. My head is hanging very low. I have been a bad indeed. Do you see why I need some "adult" voices in my head instead of just the condemning parent and the rebellious child?

What would a logical, reasonable do in this situation? I can only borrow strategies from other people, since my brain doesn't generate them on its own. Dr. Oz says, if you get lost & you're using GPS, it doesn't berate you for making a mistake, it just says, "Please do a U-turn at the next possible opportunity." It's true. The , mature, reasonable thing to do would be to go on a walk tomorrow and stick to reasonable portions & healthy alternatives to desserts & snacks. Ok, if only it were that easy.

(I have one more rant to go on in the psychology topic & then I'll be done for today, I promise. Someone said depression was like laying on the couch & being unable to get up. And 3 feet away from you was a magic wand that could solve all your problems and help you be able to get off the couch. However, as hard as you might try, you just can't reach the magic wand, even though the dang thing is only 3 feet away! Sometimes I feel that way about losing weight. I'm a highly educated woman and I know that eating less and moving more would solve my weight problem. Well, duh! It's just right beyond my reach, like the magic wand, and try as I might I just can't grasp it. It's a really "easy" solution, but it's so "hard" that it feels impossible at times.)

Since I feel like I can't send this off to the universe ending on a negative note, I want to say that I'm not giving up. I'm looking forward to printing out the grocery list for the SparkPeople meal plans and doing much better next week. Self-forgiveness is the only way to break negative cycles. SELF, I FORGIVE YOU!!! YOU'RE STILL A GOOD PERSON! YOU'LL SEE SUCCESS YET!

During other trials in my life, I've found that when it seems like I'm reaching for that magic wand or solution that seems unobtainable, what my soul is really reaching for is God. May he grab my hand and your hand as we try to do the right thing this week & take care of the bodies he has given us.


Cory said...

Great post, I think. :) It's a little deep for me this early on a Monday. But I'm sure it will really get me later today!

jeannie* said...

Just thought I'd stop by and say hi! I'm excited to get to know you better this month and help cheer you on :)

And... great post by the way. I find myself over analyzing myself all the time :) heehee

Michelle @ The 2007 Challenge said...

Nan, all I want to say is AMEN! I felt like you were talking about ME in your post! And I tell myself the exact same thing ... when I'm reaching for food to comfort me, or go on a shopping spree to make myself feel better, I try to remind myself that it's really GOD that's missing from my life. He's always there waiting for me, I don't even need to ask!

Take care! I'll be back to check up on you again soon!