Saturday, February 24, 2007

Metabolism Mess

My husband & I went to Brigham Young University for our undergraduate degrees. And through thick & thin, we are also BYU football fans. The past several years have been a bit rough for the football team. They fired a coach year before last & hired a man named Bronco Mendenhall. He had a great season this past fall & due in part to his unconventional approaches.

We read an article in BYU Today that said when the coach first started out, he invited all the players to a bonfire gathering up in the mountains. He gave the players piles of sheets of papers on which they were to write everything they thought was wrong with the past football program. The players wrote & wrote and the sheets filled up fast. Then they started to read them aloud one by one. When they were done with each one, the coach took the paper & threw it in the fire. When he was done with that, he took a helmet from the past season and threw IT into the fire along with a uniform from the past season. They changed the uniforms, the logo on the helmets and symbollically burned up any excuses for past bad behavior.

I'd like to submit to you my "Excuse #2" for wadding up and throwing into the bonfire. I just need to get it out and complain about it and be purged of it.

Well, anyone my age has the old boring excuse of "my metabolism isn't what it used to be." I always say that at midnight on the night of your 26th birthday, 1 twinkie turns into 12 twinkies. But in addition to that bleak truth, I've been taking medications for depression & insomnia that have helped a little with the depression, but have turned around and depressed my metabolism. In 2 months after starting these meds, I gained 20 pounds. Then after a year and half, I gained 10 more. Tragically, these pounds didn't go away when I stopped taking the medicine that makes you gain weight. It's up to me on my own to work them off.

So anyway, I feel like my deck's been stacked a little unfairly. But that's it. No more moaning about this excuse. But I still have a couple more excuses to write down on this blog & then I'll be done. Bear with me.

Just to let you know, though, speaking of bearing burdens, I had 30 minutes of weight lifting today and over an hour of stationery bike at the gym. Go me!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Excuse #1

I am searching, searching for my motivation to make changes and stick with them, and for some reason, I want to talk about what got me into this mess. Then when I'm done explaining to you all my many excuses, then maybe I can forget about the past and move on to progress in the future.

Excuse #1 for weighing as much as I do:

I had knee surgery last year. Last Feb. I was in a KICKBOXING class and landed badly not once but twice and ruined my meniscus and ACL. It was one of those things where I should have slowed down & not done those jumps... the spirit was so willing but the flesh was weak. I had surgery in March, and a second one in August. All my cardio exercises came SCREECHING to a halt. I had really loved jogging and those types of aerobics classes with the (evil) high impact. But forget about it until May/June of this year ONLY (says my doctor) if I train properly & even then- sort of a bad idea. Sob! Sob!

I had been sailing along at a plateau of about 180 or so after my 2 kids were born (stay tuned for excuse #2) and keeping from gaining tons by all the cardio (because it's so not fun to restrict your diet...) So now I have to sort of change paradigms and it's hard. I know I can try spin classes or power walking, but I haven't acquired the taste for them yet & I'm just in a slump with the whole cardio thing.

Check out this weird week of weighing myself (same time of day every day- 1st thing in the morning):
2/17: 209 lbs
2/18: 207 lbs
2/19: 210 lbs
2/20: 201.5 lbs (Hello! Welcome to the twilight zone! I weighed myself twice & sure enough! And my jeans were even loose that day. But it didn't last)
2/21: 207 lbs

Exercise: pretty pathetic. Only one day I did a Yoga for Weight Loss video.

Eating bad stuff: yep. But I'm not going to dwell on it. Someone needs to throw that peanut butter fudge away!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

What is a triglyceride anyway????

I decided to create this blog as a confessional and sort of as some quasi-accountability for some of my goals.

So what do I want to share? I guess just the situation I'm in for starters... Intellectually, I believe it when I see that the scale says 210 (and I'm 5'3"). Psychologically, I am in complete denial. There is no possible way that I could be at this weight when that's the weight that I was when I delivered both of my children!!

I am also in denial that the lab tests could possibly be correct when they said that my cholesterol was 288 (over 200 is too high). And my triglycerides were 1175 (over 150 is too high. Yes, that's right, I said ONE THOUSAND SEVENTY FIVE was my triglyceride level.) Over and over again I kept saying, What? Are you kidding me? What? Are you kidding me?

So I have to look at this as a beginning point. Starting this blog can be some sort of symbol for me. It will be long and hard as I somehow reclaim my health and body. But I have to start the journey. I just have to. I'd love to hear from those of you that are also on this road. What was it like when you started out?